Johnny Wraith Stories

Johnny, hope you didn't pay the ransom. If you did, it was a waste of cash. Those venal buttplugs said they'd let me go after a few days, but they lied to me! They lied to RONALD! I had to stay in that nasty survivalist camp for almost eight frickin' years. I was able to escape a few months ago. I'm still laying low, don't want them to grab me again. But, if I ever find those cocksuckers, we'll be doing a Soldier Boy on them. Hope you're down with that, but of course I know you are. Anyway, thanks for keeping my memory alive. There's no immortality in being a kidnap victim. Immortality comes from the end of a pen. Fuck the tumor! Let's get together and find Joe and the Lizard.

Ronald,
I'm glad you made it out alive. I'd given up and presumed you dead. I am joyous over your return, but am enraged by what your captors have done to you. We must find them.
As for the tumor, have the headaches gone away?
As for Joe and the lizard, I think that after all these years they’ve become a bit scalier than we once remembered them. Time can be tough on both chain smoking women and their hard drinking reptiles.
Johnny