Johnny Wraith Stories

Sometimes we all get lost or involved in something that isn't necessarily good for us.........................

BY ASHLEY LEIGH

the tears I cried could have filled the ocean
he was hurting me and didn't even have the slightest notion
couldn't give up, couldn't leave, I was suppose to be tough
but sometimes being tough just isn't enough

My thoughts changed to what you wanted me to know
If you said it to me it had to be so
You decided what was right or wrong
My choice meant nothing for so long

when you hurt me you said I deserved it
said I pushed you into every anger fit
For over two years I let you hurt me
made excuses to myself and hoped no one would see

cracked bones, busted lips, bruises, and tears I let you get
I had thought you heaven sent
saddest of all was how long I let it go on
nothing would change until I could leave and stay gone

I just kept going back to him
after so long I didn't know what to do without him
one of the best things I did was walk away
and keep walking after all the things he tried to say

I left, and still thought maybe he was right in what he did to me
I am not mad at him for all he did to me
I am mad at me for staying with who he turned out to be
mostly I'm mad for the times I still think I deserved all he did to me

Ashley,
This is quite a confessional. Though many of us have been through this kind of experience, when it happens to us, it is always special and unique. I can feel, at least partially, what you feel from reading your shared words. My wish is that the bitterness that has now been tasted helps you better find the sweetness next time. You didn’t deserve anything, but sticking around too long got you what you got, even though you didn’t need it. But, knowing the bad helps us know the good, and the bad always makes for good writing. The boring writers are the ones without any emotional trauma upon which to reflect.
Johnny