Johnny Wraith Stories

I stood there a pillar.

The seasons changed and offered serendipity with every blink of my eyes. Close and open them to find the falling snow had turned to sunshine and blue skies. Wink again and I was amidst a hailstorm flashing lighting and screaming thunder, or there was darkness all around, but for the vast constellation glimmering above, which occasionally made a show of changing moons, fiery comets, and falling stars. Fall into sleep and arise to find the desert changed into grassy, rolling hills; wide rivers slowly flowing with fish springing out and back again. Nap an instant and wake surrounded by forest, or foothills rolling up into mountains. Each time the wind and rain withered it all away for something new, making way for the earth to give birth to other children. One day, or should I say one time? No. Not one day or one time, but something else. Nevertheless, the desert returned, and I was still standing there. A pillar.

In the distance I could see a black snake wiggling through the sand my way. It slithered up the steps and to the base of me, or should I say what used to be my feet? It raised its head, showed its fangs, and spoke,

“Hello Johnny.”

“Don’t tell me I’m not supposed to ask how you know my name. Besides, how can you recognize me because I’m no longer a man, but a pillar?”

“You aren’t much of a man after being a pillar for so many epochs, it is true, but I suppose it is a state of mind.”

“I thought it was a state of being?”

“Words, words, words…” hissed the snake. “Nevertheless, you’ve haven’t gone an entire round. Far from it, in fact.”

“Round?”

“Yes, during your stay here, all things that could be have become and have been every permutation of all possibilities, and now they are starting over again. In fact, since you’ve been here, several rounds have been made by most things, and at least a couple rounds have been made by all the others, that is, with one exception.”

“Don’t tell me. I’ve remained a pillar and haven’t changed at all, while everything else was making the rounds.”

“Vatsulu said you were sharp.”

“Vatsulu?”

“Yes. I had a chat with him before I ate him.”

“Ate him!”

“Don’t worry. I know he was dear to you, but he went in and came out, became something else, just as we all have before, and who knows when he will become a devouring snake and I will be the eaten mouse? After all, there is no escaping it. I suppose you can call it fate, or just the inevitable inescapability of the randomness and chaos that tears it all apart and puts it together again, just as it always has been.”

“If that’s the case, Vatsulu has eaten us many times before, and he’ll do it again.”

“That’s right, and we have done it to him and will do it to him again.”

“Then why don’t I remember any of this ever happening?”

“You will remember it eventually, and you have remembered it before. You just don’t have such memories as a pillar or as Johnny.”

“Wait a minute here. If it is all in flux, then how come my name isn’t in flux? That’s remained the same. I keep being called ‘Johnny’”

“That’s part of the problem, and that’s why I’m paying you a visit. As I said, you are the only one left who hasn’t gone an entire round, at least this time a-round.”

I’d always liked philosophy, and what the snake was saying made sense in a logical loop sort of way. But what if it was a trick? Snakes. They were always tricksters in all the stories I’d read. Yes. That was it. It was a trick! I was being tested by Adam, or maybe by Vatsulu? Maybe the snake was one of them!

“I’m not buying it. I’m staying put.”

“Ok… ok…” hissed the snake. “Have it your way. Just don’t come crying to me when you suffer the consequences. I don’t want to have to tell you, ‘I told you so.’”

“Go bug another pillar.”

“I can’t. You are the only one left. As I said, all the others have had their turns as pillars and are waiting for you to join them in becoming something else.”

“Sorry lizard. I’m staying put.”

The snake hissed, turned around, and slithered away.

Night fell and morning came again, as did the snake, slithering up to my feet, raising its head, and showing its fangs.

“Hey Johnny,” hissed the snake, “I hear you were once a ladies’ man. Back when you were a man.”

The beast did seem a bit lonely. I guess I was too. I hadn’t had a conversation in quite a while. Besides, I was a pillar and it was a snake.

“No. Not really. They came and went.”

“Yeah? What kind of girls did you like?”

“I liked all kinds, as long as they weren’t too fat or diseased. The crazy ones always had a special allure.”

“What about your dream girl?”

“Hell, I don’t know. They all caused a lot of trouble. I’m not sure I have one anymore.”

“Ok. Tell me how the ideal woman looks. Use your imagination! Give me a fantasy! Whatever your fancy is right now. What would she be like?”

“It depends on my mood, so right now, it would be one that’s athletic, with dark hair, smiles a lot…” I began to ponder, hmm. I hadn’t conjured up such a fantasy girl in a while. “Put her in a short sundress…” Yeah, that’s it. Now it was getting better. And with women there had to be wine. “A bottle of chardonnay is in one of her hands and…” I closed my eyes to focus on the details. “…and, I got it!” I blurted as my eyelids popped opened.

The snake was gone, but the girl I’d just described was standing there, in the flesh, and in a short sundress. A bottle of chardonnay was in one hand, and the hem of her dress was in the other.

“Hey cutie pie,” she smiled as she lifted the hem to reveal missing panties. “I bet you’re thirsty!”

Yeah, you know what happens next. I fell for the old snake in the garden trick. Funny how in life we have these great epiphanies and feel we are transforming into something else – something truly meaningful or profound. Along comes a girl in a short summer dress, lifts it up and offers some wine. You can see the shallow trick from miles away, but somehow it’s so easy to give it all up and take the bait. Such an easy trick even a dumb snake can pull off, and which snake is it, really? Eternity is so easily and ignorantly given away for a temporary drunken countenance, or the murderous explosion that comes from having a girl’s soft heels biting into your clinching buttocks. When we sober up, we are empty of drink and everything else, having given it all away – all but the headache. It is so easy to live and die. It is so easy to be as Adam and not something else.

My stone body lost its height and turned to flesh. With bare feet I stepped down from my indelible pedestal and into hot sand to make temporary footprints.